Dealing with non-communicators:

• Some people are unresponsive when confronted with feedback, even when it is positive.

• When you need to give feedback to a quiet, shy, or otherwise uncommunicative person, patience is key. Don’t rush the conversation, don’t force responses. Take deliberate pauses.

• Make an effort to draw out other person’s point of view by asking open-ended questions.

Managing potentially volatile encounters:

• Some corrective feedback recipients may be openly defensive as soon as they’re confronted with criticism.

• Quite often defensiveness surfaces because productive and honest communication is breaking down, leading the recipient to mispercieve your motives and intentions.

• Volatile encounters can be hard to defuse once they’ve begun. If you anticipate that your feedback session could become contentious, plan ahead:

  • If they employee is already upset or angry, wait until he calms down before you engage him directly.

  • Write down your feedback points in advance.

  • Plan and rehearse how you will respond to outbursts before you initiate a conversation with the recipient.

  • Plan to keep your feedback simple; limit it to one or two primary points.

• Volative situations can be made worse when you catalog what recipient may perceive as a long list of grievances.

• Once you are in the session:

  • Elicit the recipient’s poitn of view and actively listen to his response to avoid confrontations.

  • Soften the defensive posture with phrases that show him that he’s being heard.

  • Note points of agreement between you to establish common ground.

  • Remain composed. Speak slowly, calmly, and clearly. Avoid phrasing that might be interpreted as judgemental.

  • Redirect focus away from the point of disagreement. Work on building small agreements.

Giving feedback to high performers:

• Express gratitude for current performance. A star may not know how well she is doing. Always start the feedback session stating what they have accomplished.

• Understand the cost of great results. It’s important to acknowledge _how** great results were achieved.

• Don’t assume the star is perfect. Everyone can improve. It’s a disservice to not help a top performer improve. Focus on what’s next in career and help them.

• Find out how you are doing. Ask questions about how your support could help better.

Giving corrective feedback to your boss:

• Identify the issue. First check if the problem is real with the team members.

• Decide whether the matter is worth pursuing. Consider alternatives to see if your team can minimize the impact of your manager’s behavior.

• Prepare carefully. If you must give your manager corrective feedback, collect objective data, but present them as aids in finding a soclution, not as an arsenal of evidence.

• Make an appointment. Don’t surprise your manager. Let her know you want to discuss an important issue.

• Describe the behavior and its impact on the team. Give the feedback directly, accurately, and respectfully. Describe the behavior you’re targetting, not a personality trait.

• Make a suggestion or a request, not a demand. Eventually, move from a statement of the problem to a possible resolution. You will know whether your manager is ready to meet this challenge.

• Check for commitment to change. Even if the process goes well, make sure you are both clear about the next steps.